I'm experiencing "grey areas" in my life right now. Yes I am still separated and not divorced. Yes I still technically have a live-in boyfriend and a husband. And yes they both want to be a major part of my life. And unfortunately, I want to be a part of both of their lives but realize that can't happen. Initial sparks wear out and reality sets in..... just in my case sparks can go on a long time usually after sexual and emotional connections have gotten way too deep. Right now I'm taking the time to redefine love in my life. Love means something different to each person. I realize in talking to different friends on a day-to-day basis...that we all view relationships differently. Some women think that as long as he's a provider, they can put up with anything. To me money is not everything, what about the desire to be in your partner's presence? What about having that indescribable feeling when you get that hug at the end of the day? What about looking forward to sharing your day and hearing about his? What about the little flirting you exchange throughout the day? I could go on and on....but I hear some of my friends..."Girl, that passion ain't gone pay NO bills". True but that's where the balance comes in. A man that truly loves you will make sure you're taken care of regardless. Although I can be independent, I desire a man to take charge and take his rightful place and handle the things that I can't and also step in and handle some things that I CAN handle but just because he's the man..... he got it. Fairy tale ...hmmm maybe...but hey I'm redefining what love means to me. Changing my gray area to either black or white. And that may very well mean being on my own. Which is fine also...cause guess who's rules I live by then? Yep!!! Live By My Own Rules!
Dang it's been a minute since I've blogged...Over a month. I enjoyed the 5 weeks for structured bootcamp. Something about knowing my exact schedule was exactly what I needed. Her meal plans were easy to follow although I didn't follow them on most days. In the end I didn't lose any weight but I lost 3 inches in my thighs and almost 3 inches in my waist so it was worth it to me. The first week without the camp schedule I was totally lost on what to do.....just winging it. At the job, they have opened up a nice fitness wellness center. It's the place to be right now so very overcrowded. My first experience at the beginners Zumba class was horrible.....she was so uncoordinated and appeared to not know her own routine. Yesterday I attended the Bootcamp Training Class and it was GREAT. We jogged, did squats, planks, mountain climbers, high knees and other things that had me sweating my weave out. I loved it. And although I hate to hang around till 6 after work, I think t...
Living by your own rules.
ReplyDeleteIt's YOUR life, I commend you.