I've always been heavier than my friends...even growing up.....but I've always had a nice shape...good proportioned. Lately I've noticed the droopy stomach.. my belly has always had fat but not that ugly droop that flaps down...ugh. No tightness to it. I know you can't spot lose but I gotta lose it. I gotta do whatever needs to be done to lose it. I spend a great deal of my day reading health news, reading motivational and inspiration stories of weight loss and regaining control of your health. Mainly I do this to stay focused....to always stay thinking of my weight. I'm very conscience of every single morsel I put in my mouth.... whether good or bad. I don't do every thing I should do but I don't eat sweets, I don't eat bread, I hardly eat carbs....I need to exercise more but I'm getting there. I'm proud of the steps that I have taken....but the road is long.... very long.
I'm experiencing "grey areas" in my life right now. Yes I am still separated and not divorced. Yes I still technically have a live-in boyfriend and a husband. And yes they both want to be a major part of my life. And unfortunately, I want to be a part of both of their lives but realize that can't happen. Initial sparks wear out and reality sets in..... just in my case sparks can go on a long time usually after sexual and emotional connections have gotten way too deep. Right now I'm taking the time to redefine love in my life. Love means something different to each person. I realize in talking to different friends on a day-to-day basis...that we all view relationships differently. Some women think that as long as he's a provider, they can put up with anything. To me money is not everything, what about the desire to be in your partner's presence? What about having that indescribable feeling when you get that hug at the end of the day? What about looking f...
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